6 Rules of Online Dating Every Single Mom Must Know

It’s hard enough navigating the treacherous waters of the dating scene when you’re single, but when your child is involved it’s often more difficult.

Here are 5 rules that every single mom must know before venturing out on the dating cene.

1. Your child is your first priority. Don’t ever sacrifice your child for love. I know of a woman who dated a convicted child abuser and even got engaged to him, completely forgetting about her son and exposing him to a man who could potentially abuse him, too. Don’t ever put your child before a man in your life. Men can come and go, but your child will be with you forever.

2. Get things straight with your child’s father. You may not be in a relationship with your child’s father, but in his mind, he may have certain expectations about what you can and can’t do when it comes to dating, especially if you are talking about getting back together with him. If you are, then you don’t need to be on the dating scene. In order to succeed in dating, you’ve got to break all emotional/sexual/physical ties with your ex and start your new relationship with a clean slate.

3. Take your time. When you were younger and didn’t have a child, if you wanted to move in with a guy after six months of dating him, you could do it – not highly recommended, but you could do it if you wanted to because it was just you.

You didn’t have a child that you were responsible for. Now you do and rushing into a relationship with any guy isn’t the way to go. Take your time and make sure you’ve got the real thing before making a solid commitment to a guy.

4. Talk to your child about your relationship. But do it only when it’s serious and you’re ready to commit. You don’t want your child to see you sporting a revolving door of men. Your child doesn’t need to meet any guy you date until you know this is the guy you want to spend your life with. If your date isn’t that guy, then what’s the point of introducing him into your child’s life?

5. Your child’s opinion matters. What your child thinks about the new guy you’re dating is important. And the way your new guy treats your child is even more important.

6. Always remember the golden rule. Put your child’s needs ahead of your own. Don’t be like the woman who dated a convicted child abuser just to have a man in her life, despite the fact that she had a child who could have been hurt. Wait until you find a great guy that both you and your child are fond of. – Tasha Cunningham, Tasha@DontDateHimGirl.com

Here are more great articles from DDHG –

1.  How to Tell Your Guy He’s a Lousy Lover – http://dontdatehimgirl.com/love_panel/

2.  Should You Date a Guy Who Has a Profile on an Adult Sex Site? – http://dontdatehimgirl.com/news_view/should-you-date-a-guy-who-has-a-profile-on-an-adult-sex-site-515.html

3. Check out the DDHG Blog – http://dontdatehimgirl.com/blog/

4.  5 Ways to Find Love in 2009 by Tasha Cunningham – http://dontdatehimgirl.com/article_view/empower/5-ways-to-find-love-in-2009-435.html

Who’s in Charge of Your Love Life?

Letting him steer the wheel of your love life can be a fatal mistake that girls often make, but it is also one of the easiest to fix.

How do girls hand over control, even when they do not want to or mean to? We do it by asking questions and then letting the guys’ answers determine the course of our love life.

Asking a man any question about your future together and then waiting for his answer lets him steer the boat. Do not go there. If you find yourself saying things like “where do you see us in a year” or “when can we start talking about living together”? then you immediately give him your power.

You are letting him dictate your actions by implying that his answers will affect how you live your life. Even a question like “have you thought about what night we will see each other next week”? puts him in control. This is a simple concept that might sound harder than it is, so just think about it. Any question you ask him that sounds like your next move will depend on his answer is a no-no. Any time you ask a question that has you waiting for or depending on his answer is precisely the time you are handing over the reins of your love life.

Men want independent thinkers for marriage partners, not girls who depend on them to create their future. Giving him your power by asking these kinds of questions are damaging to the long term potential of a relationship. You can stay in control of the steering wheel by not asking questions like this. It should be his role to be asking you questions and hoping that your answers will include him in your future! Who’s driving your car? You are! — Kerry Gray

How to Rev Up Your Love Life This V-Day

You can resolve to make this V-Day great for love. One place to start is with your sex life. If you are in a committed relationship then your sex life has become his sex life. Have you ever thought about your sex life in that way? The sex life he has is the one you have, and it is very important to him!

What is important to him becomes important to you. Are you giving him the kind of sex life he craves? Is it one that will have him committing to you forever? A man’s sex life is a big priority in his relationship with you. Even if you do not feel the same way that he does about sex, you can meet his needs.

After all, you want him to understand your desires to go shopping, out on romantic dates, and talk endlessly about girlie subjects, don’t you? It is the same thing. You can meet his wish for a sensational sex life even if it is not at the top of your list of “things to do.”

First, remember that any time, any place is good for him, so be flexible. A quickie takes a very short time with huge benefits for both of you. It gives him a boost to feel like such a stud that you must have him immediately. In return, you get a happy and contented man who will be more receptive to your needs and wants. It is a win win situation to make sure his sexual menu is flexible and varied, and he gets to order whatever he wants most of the time. Remember, you do not have to share his belief that sex is so important, but do develop a commitment to meeting his needs for something that is so important to him.

Second, continue to dress for success. Many girls stop dressing it up like they did while dating, and it is a major complaint that men in committed relationships have. A girl can be happy in her regular pajamas or t-shirt, but your man really does want to see a variety of clothing, lingerie, hose and high heels. Please understand that for a man, it is not just about lingerie.

It is about different outfits. Men want variety, so dress it up and make it different. Lingerie, costumes, nurse and french maid outfits, your regular clothes, his regular clothes…anything goes, as long as it is new, different, and sometimes fabulously feminine. Men react to colors, so wear different colors to change it up. Men like different hairdos, makeup, jewelry and perfume. This is one of the things that men love about girls. They are drawn to us and adore our ability to change it up and be exciting, mysterious, and feminine, so use that to your advantage.

These small things will keep your man’s sex life imaginative, positive, happy and energizing for him. That translates to a happier you. You do not have to share his passions to make his dreams come true, so put some variety and flexibility at the top of your list of things to do for him. You will be rewarded with a happier man who sees that all his dreams really can come true while he is with you. — DDHG contributor Kerry Gray

5 Ways to Find Out if Your Guy is Having E-Sex Online

Is your guy engaged in e-sex with another woman in cyberspace? Here are 5 ways to find out!

1.  He lives in an alternate reality. If your guy plays Sims, Second Life or any of the other life-simulating video games now available and lives a completely different life online than he does in real life, he may be e-sexing an avatar without you ever knowing it.

2.  He’s secretive about his hardware. If your guy hides his computer, encrypts it with three layers of password-protection, the code to which you don’t have, he could be having e-sex with a cyber-hottie behind your back.

3.  He burns the midnight oil online. If you guy spends hours on end on his computer, that’s not normal. He may be living out his alternate reality online with a woman who he’s having e-sex with.

4.  He doesn’t have a “real” life. If you guy’s world revolves around his computer and he’s stopped doing things with you, having sex with you or even talking to you on the phone, something is wrong. Your guy may be getting his needs met in elsewhere, including cyberspace.

5.  He can’t stop talking about his online world. If your guy has crafted an alternate universe for himself online and can’t stop talking to you about it, there’s something amiss. He’s too wrapped up in his online life and as such, may be wrapped up in the arms of a cyber-woman having e-sex! — Tasha Cunningham

Going Green For Love? Plan the Perfect Green Date!

Go green for love!

Going green in every aspect of our lives is important. The future of our planet depends on us and how we take care of it. You can recycle and use less water, but can you green up your love life? Most certainly! Here’s how:

1. Plan the perfect green date! Skip the pricey restaurant for dinner and surprise him with an environmentally-friendly picnic under the stars at a park or even in your own backyard. Use reusable plates and utensils instead of disposable ones!

2. Organic can be orgasmic! Hit the local farmer’s market and prepare an entirely organic meal for your hottie. Organic foods are grown without toxic pesticides and fertilizers, making them good for you, and great for the planet, too!

3. Give green gifts! The holiday season may be behind us, but there are many occasions throughout the year to give green gifts to your loved ones! The Robomow Lawn Mower ($1,400) is environmentally-friendly and cool. The Gidget Gadget case provides eco-storage for your man’s iPod ($28). It’s fabulous!

Get Your Guy to Love Housework…Really!

Is your guy allergic to cleaning up after himself?

It’s no secret that men are visual creatures. But their visualization works in only one way. They can only focus on things that are pleasing to the eye. So if a guy walks into the kitchen, he’s going to gravitate toward the delicious food you just cooked and NOT on the pile of dirty dishes in the sink. Ever seen the scene in the movie The Break Up where Jennifer Aniston tells Vince Vaughan that she wants him to want to do the dishes? A reluctant Vaughan tells her that he’ll never want to wash the dishes, but he’ll wash them anyway if it makes her happy. Let’s face it, ladies – men are NEVER going to want to help you do the dishes or any other housework for that matter. But you can entice them to do it by playing on their visual nature! Here’s how!

1. Catch his eye. Wear a seductive tank top and short shorts to clean the house. Watch how quickly he gravitates toward you. Using your most seductive tone, ask him to pass you the broom. He’ll rush to help you out!

2. Give him what he wants. Don’t you just hate it when you’re cleaning the house and your man is lounging comfortably on the couch, not lifting a finger? Provide him with an incentive to give you a hand with the housework. Ask him if he wants something to drink. When you give it to him, slip him a note that tells him that as soon as you’re done with the housework, you’re going to rock his world. Watch how quickly he asks you if there’s anything he can do to help you clean up faster!

3. Make him come. There’s nothing men love more than a woman in distress! While wearing your sexy cleaning gear, call out to him and ask him to help you reach something on a high shelf. When he comes to you and helps, give him a seductive kiss . If you do this enough time, he’ll know that helping you clean up brings naughty rewards! 🙂

5 Ways to Help Your Guy Dress Better

Does your guy dress to impress?

Men either care about fashionor not. Some guys have a great sense of style and propriety while other men seem to think that fashion is a four letter word to be used by less than masculine men. First, you need to get him to see that there is something in it for him. How do you do this? Well, men are motivated by fear, greed and personal recognition. Did you notice that those are the same things that motivate dogs?

Anyway, greed and personal recognition are the biggest motivators in the case of getting him to dress better. He needs to see that it will help his career (greed) and that you will think he is hotter (personal recognition).

Second, now that he is properly motivated, you need to also show him that dressing nicely is not that expensive. You have to know your man. If he is strictly a brand label guy, then take him to a high end department store and let him shop. The high end bill may scare him into not doing it again for 5 years. I would suggest starting at Marshalls, Ross, Target and places like that so that he can get some nice things to update his wardrobe. For example, any of those places would be a great starting point to getting flat front pants Most men are still wearing those unfashionable pleats. Guys also tend to wear work shoes or sneakers. That has to stop. Take him to DSW or any of the stores mentioned above to pick out some nice updated shoes.

Third, get a haircut. Men tend to hold on to the haircut because it works. Sometimes it stopped working ten years ago. Bald guys tend to let their hair grow too long on the sides and back. Others hold on to that land strand of hair on the top of the head. Encourage them to cut it all off or at least very low. That is much better and will take years off of them.

Fourth, get a shave. Mustaches and beards are very personal, but they are also kind of 80’s. I used to have one and dumped it many years ago. They are out of style and add years to the face. A goatee is much more fashionable, but I’m against facial altogether.

Finally, now that we have it all together, you should debut the look. Take him out to a fun place with his new cut and clothes and praise him. Just like a dog, when we have done well, praise us and we will do the trick again. He will ask you to go shopping soon and he will develop his own style. Be ready for what you create! — Tasha Cunningham, tasha@dontdatehimgirl.com

3 Ways to Get Out of a Bad Relationship When You’ve Got a Child

How do you get out of a relationship with a man if you’ve got a child? It’s a tough question because you’ve got to put your child first. If you have a child with the man you’ve just ended a relationship with, you’ve got to navigate through the aftermath of your break up carefully.

First, talk to your child together. Make it clear that the problems in the relationship and the break up have nothing whatsoever to do with the child. It’s not the child’s fault that you’ve split and you’ve got make sure your child knows.

Next, set up a schedule of visitation for the child with your ex and stick to it. You’re no longer with this man, but you both have a responsibility to raise the child, so make that your priority and cut out the drama.

Third, don’t use your child as a pawn or a way to get revenge on your ex. Even if you’ve got a former spouse or boyfriend who, at times, exercises extremely poor judgment or plays games, don’t stoop to their level. When your ex starts dating, gets engaged or gets married to a woman who’s younger than you, don’t start acting out. Think to yourself, he’s her problem now.

Always remember that one day your child will find out what happened in your relationship and you always want to make sure you’ve acted properly and in the child’s best interest.

It’s never easy ending a relationship when a child is involved, but it is possible if you put the child’s needs first. — Tasha Cunningham, tasha@dontdatehimgirl.com

Do You Really Want Him Back? Do These 3 Things Before You Decide!

On the new CBS show “The Ex List”, a woman seeks out all her former flames to find out if she missed “the One”. She probably didn’t, but it’s going to be fun watching her take the journey.

The woman on the show isn’t hung up on her exes, but if you are, you need to do the following to find out if you really want your ex back or if you’re just scared you’ll be alone.

Before you decide to take him back, do these three things:

1. Make a list of all his flaws, bad habits and the fights you’ve had. Ask yourself if you would want your sister or best friend to be with a guy like that.

2. Exorcise him from your life. Banish all things that remind you of him. Get rid of the pictures, cards and gifts. You don’t have to throw them away for now, you can just store them.

3. Invite your girlfriends over and talk about him. Get their brutally honest view of him. Did they really like him? Did they notice things that you didn’t? Make notes of the conversation.

After you do these three things, wait one week. During that time, go about your normal routine, but don’t call your ex or have any contact with him. Now ask yourself, are you better off with or without him? Only you can decide! But if you decide you’re better off without him, you can toss the mementos of your relationship and make space for the stuff of a new guy! 🙂

3 Things Your Guy Won’t Tell You…But You Need to Know

We’d all love to get inside our guy’s head to find out what he’s thinking. Not just what he tells us he’s pondering, but what the thoughts that are REALLY running through his mind when it comes to love, sex and dating.

1. Men are just as insecure as women. Hard to believe, given the macho bravado many men try to give off, but it’s true. Men wonder how they look, if they’ve shaved or waxed or if they’re making a good impression on you, just like women do.

2. Men want love. Really, they do. They just don’t know how to find it and keep it. In addition, most men are scared of that loving feeling. They don’t want to be totally vulnerable. It’s against their manhood, so they don’t want to put themselves totally out there without a shiny coat of tough, emotional armor to protect them in case you reject them.

3. Men want monogamy. They like the theory of being with one woman, in love for the rest of their lives, but their biology tells them another story. Since the dawn of time, men have been taught to sow their seeds with as many women as possible in the name of procreation. Although times have changed and monogamy is the norm, some guys just haven’t caught up from the caveman days!